ah youth, you will be missed deeply.
when i first met you, something in you made me attracted to you. something special. was it your smile? was it your personality? i am not sure.
as the days go by, i got more attracted to you just through daily interaction. was it because of you being caring towards others?
although shy, i tried to make advances a few times, just to get ignored every time. still, i never gave up. even until the days that led up to my confession, i never gave up, cause i hoped that you will eventually realise the subtle actions of mine and acknowledge my feeling towards you.
there came the day of my confession, in the last english class that i will ever have with you. i volunteered to present a topic in front of the class and the topic is decided randomly by someone in the class. the topic chosen for me was my crush. inevitably, i had to talk in front of the class about you, giving stupidly honest hints to the class which ultimately led to my embarrassment for the whole year. you did not show any reaction besides the smile you gave me after that english lesson.
of course, we never ever talked again.
honestly, up til today, i am not sure if you actually fancied me at all (well most of my friends actually know that i had a crush on you and said that you fancied me). was it just a fantasy on my part? was my actions all for nothing?
after a few months, school started again and as usual, i would avoid you as much as i can. however, as time passed, i slowly realised that you were not the one for me. i could not imagine having a future with you and initially i thought that i was thinking too much, but it is the undeniable fact that i would have to face eventually no matter how much i run from it.
thank you for being in my life. i really appreciate it. without you, i would not have realised how much it takes to care and love someone wholeheartedly. the feelings of happiness whenever i am around you, it was a perfect illusion.
i wish that you would find your mr right and that you will be happy with your life.